ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
