this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
