A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
