Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I fill condoms, not promises.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
