She said her name was "party"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Boobs speak an international language.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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