I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
