That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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