Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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