Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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