He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
There's even glitter on my cock...
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