strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
