Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
