the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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