It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
