I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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