The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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