if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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