Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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