is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
