Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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