her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
