Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize