Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Acid is not a monday night drug
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
