Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
