So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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