I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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