i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Damn victory sex feels great
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
