i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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