Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
