I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
