wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
