When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
