if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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