dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
