O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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