I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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