An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
