How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
