Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
