Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
