I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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