Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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