thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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