i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
