The maid of honor just puked.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
They have beer where we have blood.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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