In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
