you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Mom said you looked used
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
