And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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