Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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