shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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