I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
